Why?

Why do i find that i have mood swings all the time? 

One moment i'm happy and the next i'm not.

Maybe i'm happy cause of the smile on her face i see.

Maybe i'm sad cause of the pain and sorrow i've caused.

Is it because i'm reminiscing about the past? my mistakes? i'm sorry i mean my MISTAKE...

(only one mistake i regret the most) 

Is it cause i can't do well enough to even pass an exam?

I try and i really do, but it just never seems to be enough.

I sometimes think i'm a fool for hoping so much, hoping that i'd have a chance to prove i was not Lying to you, hoping that i'd someday change the world.

And the worst thing is that i am still hoping.

At one point in my life recently i said "it looks like success is going to come way before love for me". i said this cause love had hurt me so much, love never gave me a second chance, love teased and taunted me into a rage that i wasn't. 

I once said i'd join the Royal Marines. This was obviously thanks to my hate that i'd developed and my sorrow of losing one thing after another in life. 

But also i wanted to help and protect the things i believed in.

I know that i am not this rage and unkindness some people say i am.

I'm not a lying, ungrateful, dishonest person that i have been classified as.

Give me a chance to change,

give me a chance to show who i really am,

give me a chance to make things right

just give me a chance.