Worried Worlds?

Not feeling so good right now...

Feeling tired, so tired...

Maybe i feel a little lonely?

that's something new...

But i could always survive without anyone there

I need some people to talk to...but i don't,

I don't want to give in to it

Must be strong and rise above emotions and needs

Like i always have

and no doubt i will have once i wake up tomorow

Il feel refreshed and better...

Thats how sleep works I guess, its a kind of reboot system that deletes all your emotional experiences from the previous day and starts you on a blank page

But yea, maybe i am lonely,

Maybe i'm just fed up with being in education

Maybe i hate not seeing any money

But strangely i don't dispise seeing other people in love

I like it, makes me smile and happy that some people can find it and treasure it =)

But me? Nah, maybe i'm just a born business man

A guy that runs the cities and builds empires,

but does not love

Let me bring back a really old post from January 30th 2009:

It's fun to watch lovers walking hand in hand, arm in arm.

Cause you know that something special could come out of it all.

A real relationship, a family, a child.

These couples get to spend nearly every living hour together, laughing, talking, living the life they wanted to live and always dreamed of.

Their spirit is strong, their love for each other powerful.

For them the world is perfect, everything is fine because they have someone to come home to at the end of a long day and to fall asleep next to.

She gets to fall asleep on his chest

He gets to hold her close and kiss her goodnight.

But far away, or even just down the street, in a Penthouse suite or capital office of a worldwide company.

A man sits in a warm leather armchair overlooking the city.

Creating dreams,

Creating hope,

He doesn't have someone to go home to at the end of the day,

He never stops working,

He can save people, save families, save cities, save nations.

His only love is making the world a better place so others "in" love can feel safe and protected.

He has fancy cars, nice shoes, big houses

His name is all over the world.

A name that thunders and drives the industry of change

He's the man who has Everything, but Nothing.

This is the kind of man i want to be

I remember writing that

and it's still true of my purpose here today

That is who i want to be

But it isn't easy

It's not simple...

But i will try my damn right hardest to get there and prove myself

I wonder if i am missed...

Do i need to be missed?

I don't know really

Maybe i am, maybe im not

I am sure some don't miss me

I was always a confusing individual for people

and even the other day my psychology tutor told me that she could not figure out what kind of person i am...that pretty much seals it..

Maybe i just know a little bit too much about the world that i no longer act like anyone else?

Maybe that is it...

I member having people who knew me, well more than normal that is..

I made it a habit not to tell more than 45% of who i was...

I told a few a little bit more, let them see through the crack in the doorway to my life...

Some saw colour and most saw darkness...