The Gunshot Sets You Free...

So...

This is all there is...

Watched Ironman the other day, the first one that is

To make myself feel better

I wish I could have his life

I'd trade mine for his in a second

I dreamt of you the other day

Wasn't a very good dream though tbh

not that anything bad happened in the sense

But I dreamt that I was holding you

That is both good and bad

But it hurt...

Let me just see if it happens...

I still miss you I guess

Pathetic huh...

I'm embarressed about the fact myself

Disgusted with the fact that my mind isn't strong enough to resist you

I can be cruel without question

I can be cold without a thought

But you?

You get inside past all the walls

You helped me so much

Gave me the feeling of what it was like to have a Soul

What it was like to Love

What it was like to Care

And I tried to do my best for you too

Nothing was too difficult

No distance was too far

If you needed me I would be there

I wonder if you knew

I really do hope that I get the chance to hold you again like I did before

I wonder...

-The Day This Flesh And Blood Is Replaced With Steel And Electronics Am I Free-

I wish you would say the same words to me too

Reasure me that I am not alone in my feelings

But I doubt it

There must be hundreds of other guys out there that are far more better looking then I am

I am more of an Industrialist anyway

I never was good at Love

Even though I bet none of those other guys would go to the end of the Earth and take on even the rest of the planet if it came down to it...

Their all afraid

That's the thing, Fear

Another huge defect with the human mind

Something I'm learning to overcome

But yea...

Hell I doubt your even going to read this anyway

-Come closer, Come on, Don't be afraid. Look into these eyes, Tell me what do you see? Because I've tried looking into them in the mirror and I certainly can't see a soul-

Sigh you stress me out you know that don't know

It's a suffocating disease having a heart

It's so hard to control it from wanting what it truly wants

Some days I just feel like banging my fists out of frustration

I have always solved problems

If there was something in the way I will remove it

If there was an issue I will have the solution

But I can't with this

My future is here

My love is with you

I want both equally but I can't have one while having the other

and I've battled over the solution to this problem but tbh there isn't one

and that kills me

knowing that I am powerless

Okay I am rambling on... I should stop

okay stopped...

damn what is there to talk about now?

hmm...

Shows how much is occupying my mind huh...

Sigh

Please...Please

I beg of this to happen

In his name tell me the task and it shall be completed

For my own sanity help me

Because this is suffocating

From a war against a million to the construction of entire worlds

No task is too hard

Just let me hold her again

Please...