So I have 20 mintues to write a blog...

hmm...

you know I am having one of those moments again...

I'm thinking of the past. Sigh

Stupid stupid stupid...

Why do I keep hanging on?

insane really isn't it...

I think I can live by myself?

I can survive without social contact

Pft anyone can survive without that

the question is, can one survive without love?...

I think I could...

I could walk this planet alone...

Why? because I don't like losing...

simple as that...

Ergh

It's so damn annoying you know?

Hah who am I kidding, i'm talking to a damn machine

If people really did read this I would be amazed

That people care...unlikely

That's why I never relied on others, I can't how can I?

I guess i will see you soon

that would be nice, to at least see you smile

that's good enough for me...i think...

I've said this so many times

I miss you...

Well I think I do...

I can never tell anymore...

I just think of the happiness you gave me

Maybe it was a shock from the suffering I had experienced

Those scars are still clearly visible on me, so deep right to the bone and the soul...

Not that I ever told you about them...

I always wondered what plagued your mind and heart...

I didn't much care for myself but for you I did...

No one should have to suffer on this planet because I had experienced the worst of it

And I could see that there was something, not quite right

and yea I asked, but you rarely said a word...

I wish you did because even though you said otherwise I knew I could help...

My stubborn nature makes sure of that...

I just miss you, but don't take my word for it...

I just think I do, maybe I am just thinking of the past...

I don't know much anymore...

I still contemplate whether it would be a good idea to cut myself off from you completely

to just disappear...

I've come to learn alot about myself

I have the most incredible patience of anyone that it even surprises me sometimes

It isn't always a good thing to be honest...

But I almost have the most terrible rage...

Which isn't good either for the obvious reasons

but I can pick and choose between the two, switch either one on and off at will

That helps...

I am a very kind hearted person

silent and every watching

I don't judge and I expect not to be judged in return

I take care of those I love...

But push me in the wrong direction and I have a certain ruthless nature about me

I will do whatever it takes to make my message heard....

But enough of this pointless muttering

It doesn't progress me further in life

I just wish...

Wish you knew =)

-To try and put my feelings about all walks of life into words is almost impossible-

-I hope you understand,

We cannot know each other any longer

Don't look for me on this planet when you wonder of me

If you wonder of me...

Don't tell me of your lovers

And don't invite me to your celebrations even your marriage

Because my heart cannot take the pain

Now I must go...

War is calling my name

It was beautiful to know you

Forgive me-