Beauty

-Girl what you inflict me is a disease. Horrible and deadly, a cursed weakness of men that serves no purpose but to ensure they remain fools. It certainly serves me no benefit only to destroy my valour. So please walk away, leave me to my harsh ways and lack of conscience because you will destroy me in a way that not even a bullet to the head could.-

I marvel at beauty

At natural beauty, it's probably the only thing that I don't try and perfect.

Because true beauty is in the imperfections.

But I am pretty sure that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

For example I am the kind of guy who would call an army beautiful, a war an art form and the battlefield my masterpiece.

Others might say different but that is their opinion and I have mine.

For me I find very few things throw me in their beauty

One being of the human kind

the second war

and the third being space.

To put a person in the same league as the creation of the stars and galaxies is a huge leap.

Or even in the same level as the battlefield.

I mean I see so many beautiful people.

Her, her and her too.

It's a mystery for me to comprehend how perfection can be created without manipulation.

Something created you in the form of beauty and placed you on the planet.

But I don't believe in God so it can't be him.

But I know when I stumble across something beyond mere words.

Someone who puts you in your place and makes you think, think about how she affects you.

How she takes the wind from your lungs and you pause, even for a second.

But for that second she has you caught.

Be you a General or an every day Joe.

The effect is the same.

But it's scary how her simple being could change a man.

It can make some humble,

give others reason

even keep some fighting.

Without her there he would have fallen when that first blow hit him.

But with her, he manages to keep getting up again and again and he'll take them all.

Beauty is scary for me

It brings down the walls that protect me, they keep me vigilant and ensure my valour against the demons in life.

But you, along with few others in my life have cracked the endless bank of codes and broken the gate.

But you make alot of things worth wild.

Your beauty inside and out is like a diamond in the rough.

And is worth protecting

You could even give a reason to the monster and the horror.

That's too is scary.

What your capable of without even trying.

I respect beauty though.

I marvel at it and I think it is such a wonderful thing to see someone so pure and know that they exist.

It's nice, glorious even.

But yea I see beauty but I can't touch.

It always seems just out of reach...

You just seem out of reach,

I'm always having to leave off to some damned place.

It hurts...

To be so close to such a person as you and not be able to say what I want to say

I wonder if you know.

Hmm...

I'm pretty sure you do know but you don't really care.

I really don't know what I'm doing...

I hate this love and heart rubbish it really breaks someone like me down and makes me useless.

I can't stand that...

Sometimes I just wish there was a war

There is something about a battlefield that moves me

That keeps me...sane?

I think it would keep me sane,

keep me from thinking of love or beauty

Keep me from thinking of you..

War could fill that hole that the heart left behind

Fill my need for... something

Something I can't explain.

I'm volatile I think.

I know what I want, even when chaos is wrapped all around me my mind is set and straight.

But I can build things with such need and happiness.

But I can also destroy with such ferocity that I leave nothing behind

And I somehow enjoy both of those things.

I love to build but I also love to destroy...

I can also protect, until I fall myself if I decide the cause is worth fighting for, it is worth dying for

But that can also go both ways.

If I decide your a "nuisance" or you got on the wrong side of me for whatever reason, I will make sure you pay in some way.

Even if it means my revenge comes in a form 10 years later.

My patient is unlimited.

And once that day comes I'll destroy everything you have built and everything you have touched. Almost erasing your every existence from the planet...

Sigh I don't know... I can act in either way, to protect or destroy.

I think i'm too tough on myself too.

I have got it into my head that if you don't have money and not at least a General in the army or a Admiral in the Navy then you are a nobody...

That's a dangerous concept to get into your head.

But it motivates me incredibly.

It makes me want to be somebody.

To be a name known by the world and to go down in history.

I hate this skin and bone body...

It's so... weak and fragile

I know I'm pretty small in stature already and I'm slowly working towards a bigger position but even the most strongest men in the planet are still all weak.

I believe in steel and electricity and have always been curious whether a person could take on the the form of a machine, enhance himself in such a way that he becomes a metal skeleton adorned with human skin.

Going along the lines of terminator here but you get the picture.

But its just the skeleton thats steel, not the whole body is a machine.

It has a human heart and human brain so it is essentially still human just enhanced.

Sigh I wish I could be someone like that.

Instant benefits

Because the whole working out thing yes it gives results but over a long long time.

It isn't very efficient or productive

and I'm the kind of guy that likes results, I need to see them everyday.

-And a shooting star shot across the sky followed by another and another and they crashed down right next to her. When the dust had cleared she whispered through the cloud are you the wishes I wished for? And from the darkness a brute of a figure stepped forward covered in black armour 8 feet tall. My dear do we look like something a wish would send forth? We are the truth, the world, the hand of the righteous, the hammer and the shield and what we are about to do, about to do to protect you, no mere product of a foolish wish could ever accomplish. And with that he charged pass her, hammer gripped in both hands and his brothers close behind. And for 7 days and 7 nights they killed with such valour. Millions fell in their wake all in his name and the protection of hers.-